FLIPSIDE OF MIDLIFE® with Karli Newman

FLIPSIDE OF MIDLIFE®: Worry Less. Live More.

Karli Newman

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Worry hands you the illusion of control while pulling you away from the present moment. 


In this episode, I share four steps to help you see through that illusion and get back to living in the here and now.


Plus, I point you toward a resource from the Association for Behavioral and Cognitive Therapies for even more support. Find it here: https://www.abct.org/fact-sheets/worry/ 


📩 Share your thoughts with me at karli@flipsideofmidlife.com



xo Karli


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Become a member of ELEVATE - resources and community connection to help you boost your well-being in midlife and beyond




Visit my new website focused on my private one-to-one services. I’d love to guide you as you honor where you are and explore what’s next!



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I've observed and personally experienced that most worry stems from either the past, where you replay what happened and wonder what you could have done differently, or the future, where you brace for what might go wrong. Worry hands you the illusion of control while pulling you away from the present moment. If you're not paying attention, life will pass you by, my friend. Keep listening for four steps to help you see through that illusion of control and shift back into the present moment. Hey there, my friend. I'm Karli Newman, your favorite Gen X dealer of positive vibes, life and wellness coach, and founder of FLIPSIDE OF MIDLIFE® a community for women in midlife and beyond. I'm so happy to have you here with me. Before we go any further on the subject of worry, I do want to clarify something. Yes, thoughtful reflection on the past matters. Planning for the future matters. There's a difference between thoughtful reflection, planning, and worry, however. Worry is a state of anxiety and uncertainty over actual or potential problems. It's those what-ifs that embed in your mind and add stress to your life. If you find yourself feeling tense during thoughtful reflection or proactive planning, you've likely crossed over into Worryville. Of course, worry is absolutely normal for us human beings. Every single one of us has worrisome thoughts. If you consider yourself a worrier, I encourage you to consider the benefits of extracting yourself from that identity. Instead, learn to notice your bouts of worry, reduce their intensity, and trust yourself to immerse in the present moment. This is where you experience life fully and can find peace again. Here are four steps you can use. Step one, name it and locate it. The moment you catch worry rising, name it. Out loud or in writing, say,"I'm worrying about this." Naming it as worry creates just enough distance to keep it from taking over. Then ask yourself, does the root of this worry live in the past, the future, or right now? Locating it loosens its grip. You can't solve a future problem that doesn't exist yet, and you can't change a past moment that's already gone. But you can choose what you do right now. Step two, bring your body back to the present. When your thoughts start spiraling, drop your attention into your physical self. Feel your feet on the floor. Take a few slow breaths from your belly. Go through each of your senses to be in the now. These help to interrupt the pattern of worry and calm your nervous system. Step three, remind yourself of your track record. When worry has you doubting if you can handle what's coming, push back with some evidence. Remind yourself of the hard things you've done and the difficult times you've navigated. You carry decades of proof that you can handle adversity, my friend. That track record deserves far more of your attention than the worst case scenarios your worrying mind creates. Step four, take one action or release the worry completely. Separate the worries you can influence from those you can't. If you can take action, take it. Book the appointment, make the call, send the email. If the worry sits outside of your control, recognize that nothing can be done and practice releasing it. Worry without action is just suffering, and you deserve better than that, my friend. Those four steps give you a strong starting point, and if you find yourself needing more support around worry, there's a resource I want to share with you. In doing my research around worry, I landed on the website of the Association for Behavioral and Cognitive Therapies. They cover a useful method for reducing normal worrying that involves five steps. I'll include that link in the show notes for you. If you want to explore personal growth alongside a community of women who show up for each other and do the work together, I'd love to invite you to ELEVATE, my monthly membership for women in midlife and beyond. Find out if it's right for you at flipsideofmidlife.com/elevate-membership. I'll have that link in the show notes for you, too. The more you release worry and minimize its negative side effects, the more you expand into your full, rich, and beautiful life. The present moment is real, my friend. Don't miss it by worrying. Thank you so much for spending this time with me today. Reach out and tell me your thoughts at karli@flipsideofmidlife.com. I read every message, and I love hearing from you. Join me here on Wednesdays for more bite-sized episodes you can apply to your midlife and beyond, and every other Sunday for guided meditations and visualizations. I look forward to meeting you here for all of it. Take care and be well, my friend.