MIDLIFE MUSINGS: THE 'YES' PROBLEM

For women in midlife and beyond, it’s not uncommon to suffer from a ‘yes’ problem.

Do you find yourself saying ‘yes’ at the expense of your priorities and overall well-being? My guess is you do - in some circumstances, anyway. If you’re not aware that you do, then it may run deeper than you realize.

This is not a scare tactic, my friend. The ‘yes’ problem is 100% fixable!

Take a listen to my latest MIDLIFE MUSINGS for a few tell-tale signs you have a ‘yes’ problem and how I recommend you repair it. It’s just over 3 minutes of your day at the button below.

You’re worth it, right??

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I’m a certified coach for women in midlife and beyond. Learn more about me and what I do at flipsideofmidlife.com.

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Transcript

MIDLIFE MUSINGS: THE 'YES' PROBLEM

{MUSIC INTRO}

Hi there, my friend. It's me, Karli. Thanks for listening to my midlife musings.

 I was reminded the other day about the power of making choices that support our values and priorities and preserve our well-being. 

As women in midlife and beyond, it's common for us to suffer from a 'yes' problem. Can you relate to any of this? 

You were taught to say 'yes' to your parents and other adults because 'no' was disrespectful. 

You were told to say 'yes' to any extra credit in school so you can get ahead. 

You were advised to say 'yes' at work when asked to do more, because it will benefit you at review time. 

You were expected to say 'yes' to marriage and kids and a career because you can do it all. 

You put everyone else ahead of yourself by saying 'yes' to avoid feelings of letting others down or not being liked, or it's a habit you don't know how to break. 

The 'yes' problem is fixable, my friend. It may take some deep work to eliminate every last bit of it, but you can do it. 

When it comes to 'yes' or 'no' choices, pay yourself the respect you deserve and get comfortable with saying 'no'. 

To live life how you want to live, prioritize what is most important to you, and have space to just be, saying 'no' is a requirement! In other words, your well-being is reliant on that two-letter word.

I encourage you to land on a sentence or phrase that helps you say 'no'. Then practice saying it to your reflection hundreds of times. Stand in the mirror, look at yourself, and say the sentence or phrase that you choose that feels comfortable to you to say 'no'.

 By doing this, when it comes to the moment it's gonna roll off your tongue and you won't even feel uncomfortable about it. 

Maybe you think of the most common situations you encounter where it's hard to say 'no', and that's how you come up with your comfortable response. 

Here are a few of my favorite examples for you. These are ones that I use.

Thanks for thinking of me, but my plate is as full as I like it. 

I'm not in a place to say 'yes' to that ask. 

That doesn't align with my priorities at the moment, so,' no', I can't take that on. 

And for those times when you feel put on the spot... 

I can't give you an answer right now. I need to think about it. 

That one gives you separation from the moment, space to get your thoughts together, and make the 'yes' or 'no' choice that is right for you - not the person making the ask. 

This is about moving through your discomfort with letting someone down and letting go of people-pleasing tendencies. In midlife and beyond, the number one person to please is you! 

When you don't make a choice? Well, that's a choice, too. But I'll save that for another time. 

I'd love to know your thoughts about my midlife musings. 

Send me an email at karli@flipsideofmidlife.com and share away. 

Be well, my friend. I'll be back with another midlife musings in two weeks.

{MUSIC OUTRO}